Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Love
We went to see the baby last night. We had hoped that everyone else had had their chances at holding Baby, and we would have our time. But there was a steady string of people waiting for their chance. There were friends and cousins and co-workers. We finally had our chances. We didn't get to hold him long, but we got to hold him. What a LOVED baby. How wonderful it is when people are loved from all around. How can you go wrong in existing in an environment of love? But there will come a time when Baby Great-Nephew will not be loved and accepted as he needs to be. His parents are only human. We all are only humans. But God is...God. God will always be there. God will always love Baby. Oh if we could always bask in the knowledge that God loves us, as only a Father can do.
New Life
Life is full of firsts. I have a great nephew! He was born yesterday. What a beautiful baby! What an awesome miracle the birth of a baby. Having babies has changed so much in the past 30 years. Makes me sad in some ways. I was all alone having my babies. Yes, the father was around somewhere, but I went through the experience alone. Both times the doctor wasn't even there. I had nurses dealing with me, and I don't even remember any nice nurses! And yet, I will never ever forget either experience, and they are uniquely my own. Admittedly, I know me. When I am hurting, I don't want anybody around anyway. But there were no family members waiting out in the waiting rooms, and no friends standing by.
That was then, and this is now. The mother, father, and maternal grandmother were in the labor and delivery room. One grandfather on the phone the whole time out in the hall. The waiting room was filled with the other grandfather, a grandmother, a step-grandmother, aunts, and friends. The grandmother gradually worked her way down to the delivery room. When the rest of us were summoned, we came flying out of the waiting room and down the hall to stand outside the room. The baby had already tried out his lungs by the time we got there. The nurse opened the door, and let us come in partially to a curtain shielding the mother, and watch as the baby got cleaned up and weighed. We all stood stretching and peering to see if all fingers and toes were there. Only some blood still left on baby's head gave sign that THIS was a newborn! And we were there in the midst of the birth of new life. A photographer hired by a grandmother fortunately was a tall man able to capture the scene from a distance. The paternal grandmother just stood at the door and cried, as she saw that the baby looked as her son did some 26 years before. How could anyone in such a moment not believe in the creation of God?
That was then, and this is now. The mother, father, and maternal grandmother were in the labor and delivery room. One grandfather on the phone the whole time out in the hall. The waiting room was filled with the other grandfather, a grandmother, a step-grandmother, aunts, and friends. The grandmother gradually worked her way down to the delivery room. When the rest of us were summoned, we came flying out of the waiting room and down the hall to stand outside the room. The baby had already tried out his lungs by the time we got there. The nurse opened the door, and let us come in partially to a curtain shielding the mother, and watch as the baby got cleaned up and weighed. We all stood stretching and peering to see if all fingers and toes were there. Only some blood still left on baby's head gave sign that THIS was a newborn! And we were there in the midst of the birth of new life. A photographer hired by a grandmother fortunately was a tall man able to capture the scene from a distance. The paternal grandmother just stood at the door and cried, as she saw that the baby looked as her son did some 26 years before. How could anyone in such a moment not believe in the creation of God?
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Past Ruminations
Feeling Sad
Danielle/Matthew/Hurt/Pain/Worry
Shattered Lives
shattered lives
and broken pieces
pain that lasts
it never ceases
wonder if life
will ever be the same
May 6, 2005
------------------------------------------
(Luke stayed with us last night)
FOR LUKE
I came home tonight
To bears upon the chair
Just where you had placed them
Oh so neatly there.
And then I saw the car mat
On the living room floor
Lined up, trucks and flags and cars,
There must be nine or more.
The house is dark, quiet and still
No cries of “Gran! Where ahr you?”
No blonde, tow-headed smiling boy
Insisting on no shoes.
Luke, you are almost 3,
I think hard trying to freeze,
These moments of this stage of life,
Time I cannot seize.
You remind me of your daddy,
And that is why I smile,
You will only be this old
For just a little while.
I watched you sleep this morning,
I brushed my hand over your hair,
You did not wake, you did not stir
You seemed to have no cares.
Part of me wanted to wake you,
Part of me left you to be,
Unencumbered by this life,
Trouble I wish you wouldn’t see.
And so tonight I close my eyes,
And I can see you there,
I see you smile and run to me,
Yes times like these are rare.
August 16, 2004
-----------------------------------------------
Feeling Silly
Sonny Bunny-Matthew to Landry
THE ON-GOING SAGA OF SONNY BUNNY
We have had a rabbit named Sonny Bunny,
Remember? He always knew where you were,
He knew what time you would be home,
And would wait on the grass by your car.
Today we have his junior,
A little tyke is he,
He’s little and scrawny and jumps around
With a tail as white as can be.
Sometimes he plays in the backyard
Or eats a lot of grass
But at sunset waits in the front yard
“What time will Bob be home?” He asks.
Landry left him some Cheerios,
He ate them last night on the step,
He came back sometime in the night,
Now not a Cheerio is left!
June 21, 2004
------------------------------------------------------
I SAID GOODBYE
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
She has helped me in rough times
And become best friend of mine.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
I know the move is best for her,
So why does pain within me stir?
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
A new place to go, a relationship ending,
Life has changed, yet one more beginning.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Another day passed, another day gone
Another chance for which I long.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Another person who was near
Another friend who became dear.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Is it what life is about?
One being whispers, another shouts?
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
We promised to see each other again,
The question was yes, not if, but when.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Someone who knew me out and in,
Someone almost as close as my next-of-kin.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Is this what it means to get old
To have the warmth and then feel the cold?
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
We tried not, but cried the tears,
I face the future now with fears.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
June 13, 2004 LC
----------------------------------------
Feeling Quiet
Meditations in Hawaii
THE BANYAN TREE BESIDE THE ROAD
That day I saw the banyan tree
Just standing all alone,
He was a young and struggling tree,
He is not fully grown.
The mountains rose behind him,
Green grass was all around,
The lava had not touched him,
He grows without a sound.
The older trees that we had seen
Upon the hotel grounds,
Had trunks so gnarled and thick and round
Interwoven within bounds.
I wondered if that banyan tree
Knows what his purpose is-
What reason he is what he is
Other than he knows-he is His.
That day I saw the banyan tree
Upon the big Big Island
I thought, “He is so much like me,
Wondering what he is to be.”
He’s young, untouched,
And out there so alone.
I asked, “What will life bring to him,
Before he is all grown?”
When he sees cars go by his way
As he stands there day after day,
Will they notice, and will they care
That he too has a purpose there?
How blessed is he and cattle there
That God chose the island Hawaii
To stand and grow in that particular air
God had His purpose you see.
That day I saw the banyan tree
It was beside the road,
And as we drove toward Waimea
I felt the air grow cold.
With the sea behind and the mountains ahead,
Above sea level we rose.
We drove higher to find some food
In a small Hawaiian town close.
I do not know the reason why
I noticed that banyan tree there
Except that he looked so good and strong.
Aha! He had had the Maker’s care.
No matter where we are
Or what we are to see,
We can always know, it’s true,
The God Creator, He loves me.
I saw the banyan tree that day
I wondered what he was,
And why he was there, and when and where,
The Father said…“Because”.
“My daughter, Dear, I’ve tried to say,
I have a purpose for all I made,
One day my hope is that all may see
Not only humans, but yes, the trees.”
“I made them all, yes, God, that’s Me.
I made them for Myself you see.
I planned, I made, I brought them here
I gave them heart and mind and tear.”
“All creatures are made, yes made by Me
Not only humans, but yes, the trees.
I have a purpose for each of them,
A purpose only each can see.”
I saw the banyan tree that day
I never will forget
I know he stands beside that road
And watches God’s sunset.
June 13, 2004 - LC
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, May 5, 2004 12:35:00 AM EDT
Feeling Happy
Luke
Luke said "Gan" for the first time... in front of me...Thursday, April 29, 2004.
Danielle/Matthew/Hurt/Pain/Worry
Shattered Lives
shattered lives
and broken pieces
pain that lasts
it never ceases
wonder if life
will ever be the same
May 6, 2005
------------------------------------------
(Luke stayed with us last night)
FOR LUKE
I came home tonight
To bears upon the chair
Just where you had placed them
Oh so neatly there.
And then I saw the car mat
On the living room floor
Lined up, trucks and flags and cars,
There must be nine or more.
The house is dark, quiet and still
No cries of “Gran! Where ahr you?”
No blonde, tow-headed smiling boy
Insisting on no shoes.
Luke, you are almost 3,
I think hard trying to freeze,
These moments of this stage of life,
Time I cannot seize.
You remind me of your daddy,
And that is why I smile,
You will only be this old
For just a little while.
I watched you sleep this morning,
I brushed my hand over your hair,
You did not wake, you did not stir
You seemed to have no cares.
Part of me wanted to wake you,
Part of me left you to be,
Unencumbered by this life,
Trouble I wish you wouldn’t see.
And so tonight I close my eyes,
And I can see you there,
I see you smile and run to me,
Yes times like these are rare.
August 16, 2004
-----------------------------------------------
Feeling Silly
Sonny Bunny-Matthew to Landry
THE ON-GOING SAGA OF SONNY BUNNY
We have had a rabbit named Sonny Bunny,
Remember? He always knew where you were,
He knew what time you would be home,
And would wait on the grass by your car.
Today we have his junior,
A little tyke is he,
He’s little and scrawny and jumps around
With a tail as white as can be.
Sometimes he plays in the backyard
Or eats a lot of grass
But at sunset waits in the front yard
“What time will Bob be home?” He asks.
Landry left him some Cheerios,
He ate them last night on the step,
He came back sometime in the night,
Now not a Cheerio is left!
June 21, 2004
------------------------------------------------------
I SAID GOODBYE
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
She has helped me in rough times
And become best friend of mine.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
I know the move is best for her,
So why does pain within me stir?
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
A new place to go, a relationship ending,
Life has changed, yet one more beginning.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Another day passed, another day gone
Another chance for which I long.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Another person who was near
Another friend who became dear.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Is it what life is about?
One being whispers, another shouts?
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
We promised to see each other again,
The question was yes, not if, but when.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Someone who knew me out and in,
Someone almost as close as my next-of-kin.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
Is this what it means to get old
To have the warmth and then feel the cold?
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
We tried not, but cried the tears,
I face the future now with fears.
I said goodbye to my friend today
She is moving far away.
June 13, 2004 LC
----------------------------------------
Feeling Quiet
Meditations in Hawaii
THE BANYAN TREE BESIDE THE ROAD
That day I saw the banyan tree
Just standing all alone,
He was a young and struggling tree,
He is not fully grown.
The mountains rose behind him,
Green grass was all around,
The lava had not touched him,
He grows without a sound.
The older trees that we had seen
Upon the hotel grounds,
Had trunks so gnarled and thick and round
Interwoven within bounds.
I wondered if that banyan tree
Knows what his purpose is-
What reason he is what he is
Other than he knows-he is His.
That day I saw the banyan tree
Upon the big Big Island
I thought, “He is so much like me,
Wondering what he is to be.”
He’s young, untouched,
And out there so alone.
I asked, “What will life bring to him,
Before he is all grown?”
When he sees cars go by his way
As he stands there day after day,
Will they notice, and will they care
That he too has a purpose there?
How blessed is he and cattle there
That God chose the island Hawaii
To stand and grow in that particular air
God had His purpose you see.
That day I saw the banyan tree
It was beside the road,
And as we drove toward Waimea
I felt the air grow cold.
With the sea behind and the mountains ahead,
Above sea level we rose.
We drove higher to find some food
In a small Hawaiian town close.
I do not know the reason why
I noticed that banyan tree there
Except that he looked so good and strong.
Aha! He had had the Maker’s care.
No matter where we are
Or what we are to see,
We can always know, it’s true,
The God Creator, He loves me.
I saw the banyan tree that day
I wondered what he was,
And why he was there, and when and where,
The Father said…“Because”.
“My daughter, Dear, I’ve tried to say,
I have a purpose for all I made,
One day my hope is that all may see
Not only humans, but yes, the trees.”
“I made them all, yes, God, that’s Me.
I made them for Myself you see.
I planned, I made, I brought them here
I gave them heart and mind and tear.”
“All creatures are made, yes made by Me
Not only humans, but yes, the trees.
I have a purpose for each of them,
A purpose only each can see.”
I saw the banyan tree that day
I never will forget
I know he stands beside that road
And watches God’s sunset.
June 13, 2004 - LC
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, May 5, 2004 12:35:00 AM EDT
Feeling Happy
Luke
Luke said "Gan" for the first time... in front of me...Thursday, April 29, 2004.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Say Something!
Okay... There are only 3 people so far who know about this blog. My daughter, my brother and ME! And not only has it been bugging me that I can't seem to find the time or the energy or the mind to blog, but now my daughter has noticed! I haven't blogged all month! We went on vacation, and I had very limited access to computer use, and I used that time to check emails. So I was anxious to get home and blog away, only to find myself... speechless... or writeless... (that's a Lyndaism) I had thoughts, but I didn't capture them in time, and now they have blown away. Let's try a couple here... We went to see our great-niece weekend before last. What a sweetheart! She is so LOVED. It is so obvious. I remembered how when I taught 2 yr olds in BBC Summer Play Days in 2004, it was so neat to see how most of the kids were so LOVED. They just reeked of it. I have Paris' picture on my desk peeking out around my ThinkPad. It makes me smile when I look at it. At that age - 7 months - there is just such an innocence. You expect nothing of them and they just give joy. And then we move on to Father's Day. Course I knew the whole time between Mother's Day and Father's Day, that we would have no fathers or grandfathers with whom to celebrate. It was sad, but a fact. Then Father's Day comes and we are sitting in church and Mike starts talking about fathers, and it hits me in the gut hard and I'm crying and Bob is sniffing. 23 years without Daddy, and I'm still not over it. Several times recently I have thought of or been reminded of Granddaddy. Usually makes me smile. And while I don't verbalize it even mentally anymore, ya have to wonder why others live long lives, and others don't. Which reminds me... Mam-ma would have been 94 tomorrow! Okay... I feel better... I have written something.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
From Dale Smith of Motivational Mondays...
"Portrait of a Friend"I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain,nor the future with its untold stories.But I can be there now when you need me to care.I can't keep your feet from stumbling.I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;Yet I can share in your laughter.Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;I can only support you, encourage you,and help you when you ask.I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship,from your values, from me.I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,But I can give you the room to change, room to grow,room to be yourself.I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,But I can cry with you and help you pick up the piecesand put them back in place.I can't tell you who you are.I can only love you and be your friend.--Unknown
My Space
Saturday we worked like dogs in the yard. Weather was beautiful... it got hot... but we got alot done. Including, fixing me a "special place", a "private space", my "secret garden" on the side of the house, hidden by the shrubbery! We bought a black wrought-iron glider, and I'm using one of Mom's black wrought-iron tables...I put a flower arrangement on it... For nighttime use, it gets some light from our house and the house next door... Looks into the eastern sky, so I can see the sun and the moon rise from there!
I haven't even had the time or the energy to "try it out" yet! Now that I have it, I want to establish quiet times there. Perfect place for this time of year (which I love!).
I haven't even had the time or the energy to "try it out" yet! Now that I have it, I want to establish quiet times there. Perfect place for this time of year (which I love!).
Monday, May 15, 2006
My Mother's Day this year!
After lunch at O'Charleys and chocolate chip cheesecake!,
we are on our way in to see Mission Impossible 3!
Bittersweet time... Michele moving to Denver in 8 days...
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