"Don't Do That To Me"

I was leaving the library, 2 movies in hand. The week has been long, and by the time I had made it to the library to pick up a movie they had on hold for me, they had 2 movies on hold for me. It was a beautiful August summer afternoon. Temperatures in the upper 80s. Not too hot.

The young woman was enviably attractive. I heard noise... wailing coming from a young child. Just past the young woman was a small child... A tow-headed boy who looked too young and too frail to be walking. I smiled, thinking of Matthew when I saw him. He was too thin for his age. But his spindly little legs were carrying him forward with a DVD clutched in each hand. Beyond him, I heard the noisemaker. Dressed in all blue, his blond hair cut in summer crew style, was a young boy, probably 4 years old. Over and over he cried out, "Don't do that to me"..."DON'T do that to me..." He was trying to hang on to several books as he hurried toward his mother and the library. "Don't DO that to me..." I heard his mother, now moving on behind me saying, "Then maybe next time you will listen to me." "Don't do that to me..." The boy's words rang in my ears as I got in my car. Six hours later, those words have embedded themselves in my brain.

At that young age, that young child was able to communicate - Don't do THAT to me. Don't do that to ME. His mother had done something that caused fear in him.

I wanted to sit the mother down, and tell her... don't teach your child a lesson in that manner. Don't invoke fear to get desired results. Oh, the times I would love to call back in regards to my children. As young parents you work so hard to produce the ideal children. You want others to be impressed by your children and how they act, speak, behave, succeed. You don't want your children to end up as delinquents, heaven forbid. And your children end up being victims, instead of objects of love and acceptance.

I assume that little boy was not listening when he and his mother and brother got out of the car. I think when Mom moved forward, he wasn't paying attention, and she went off and left him behind. The boy wasn't hurt. He was not at risk of getting hit or abandoned. He was tanned, well dressed, obviously well cared for. But he couldn't see all of that with his 4 yr old mind. He only knew that his mother was moving away from him. And so the soulful cry, "Don't do that to me." The words have left a haunting ring in my ears. How was he able to articulate what he had already learned in life? May he stay mindful of boundaries, and what is acceptable and what is not, and how to communicate that to others.

Don't do that to me.