Random Thoughts on Parenting

Okay, it's been over a year since I posted anything. Since getting back on this site, I have found several things to change, and wanted to do more, but decided to stop and WRITE. That's what happens to me these days... I get distracted and don't complete the task at hand.

Well, because of several things that have happened in the past couple of months, I have been taking looks at the past. The distant past and the faraway past. But the past leads to the present. We don't need to dwell in the past. We don't need to lie in the mud. We need to appreciate today for today. But there is some value in analyzing what has happened and made us what we are today.

From a conversation with my brother today, I am convinced that we all have those snapshot moments from our childhood and of our past, that affect us in very real ways today. As Dave said, they aren't whole videos of chapters of our life. Just unconnected snapshots. They don't have to make sense to anyone but us. We feel what we feel. Might have been explained away if given the chance to communicate. But we carry them with us today and into tomorrow.

I think that no matter how good or how bad our childhood, we all walk into adulthood with some kind of baggage.
And I am convinced that parents do the very best they know how while bringing up their children.
But there are always consequences, from a response, spoken or acted upon, and given little thought about at the time.

Times have changed and life is not like it was 40-50 years ago.
And just as I brought some of that snapshot baggage with me into my adulthood, my children have snapshot moments they have taken into their adulthood.
I cringe and hurt and am embarassed and ashamed sometimes when they talk about things they remember I did in their childhood years.
Why does it seem everyone remembers the bad times but not the good times?
Or at least the bad far outnumber the good.
There are so many things I hoped at the time to erase from my kids' minds and hearts and egos.
I feel I did more tearing down than building up.
I hoped and prayed they wouldn't remember the bad - but they do.
My parents would probably feel the same way.
But they aren't around for me to talk to. (Talk to your parents while you can!) And children from the same home can come away with totally different perspectives on their upbringing.
My brother was a great kid. He was a little adult and got into little trouble.
I thought. In hearing him talk, he had his own share of problems and feelings of insecurity.
None of us come away unhurt.
Very complex. How do you break the trend when you are raising children?
Do perfect environments exist today?
Are only top-level, mature Christians capable of making perfect homes for children?
Is there perfect?